"Given the proper combination of elements, dreams become spewing blowtorches of fuel, of oxygen and fire. The flame is constant and hot, paralyzing even in the warmth of its seduction. They have the power to ruin lives. Or to make a life unforgettably and without measure, extraordinary”
-Tammy Dooley author of the blog “Solo Road Trip”
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” — 1994 Inaugural Speech of Nelson Mandela
“Gonna change the world someday but you wonder where to start. Filling up the vacant spaces just being who you are. I know you’ve got it in you. There is nothing that you can’t do. Step out it’s a wide wide world. Don’t back down little girl”
-The Daylights
“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” –Mary Anne Radmacher
The great philosopher Brittney Spears once said, “I’m not a girl, not yet a women.”
So I am a woman…for obvious reasons.
I’m old enough to vote
Check (although I haven’t)
I’m on my own
Check(-ish)
I have a job
Check
I make adult decisions
Check(-ish)
Post-grad and all, I’ve been introduced to the harsh world of reality with responsibility and possibility. I like to plan things out. Some people may not think of me as a planner, but I am constantly thinking of things like what will I do, how much will that cost, what do I need, how am I going to get it, how can I make this work. The questions and lists keep piling up until I just think of casting my dreams to the side, which leads me to avoid decision-making. I forget to take things a day at a time and find myself avoiding the long road ahead.
And I was thinking maybe the key to being a good adult …is to be more like a child. I know, I know, I’m not crazy. I’m not thinking of moving back in with my parents to relive the glory days or what-not but we can all learn something from children. They don’t hold back from dreaming or trusting. They are completely themselves. The world is full of possibilities and potential. They just dive right into the sea of life without any fear.
I know that this fear of failure is holding me back but I’ve just decided that I’m not going to let that happen.
No, I’m not going to read a self help book or 10 Steps to Success, but I have to acknowledge that fear of failure is a lack of faith and will only cause more failure. I don’t want to look back on my time here in California and think that I wasted any time lollygagging around where there is life and experiences to be had, potential to be met, and lessons to be learned. So I am going to go on towards Jesus, trusting that He has the best in store for me and He never fails. As long as I am regularly exposed to His radical love, I will be in the right place.
Won’t you join me in this race by saying no to fear and yes to dreams?
Mucho amour!
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” Phil 1:6
So I have come to the realization that laughing can be even more satisfying when you stick your tongue out while you do it. It just oozes sophistication. My Jelly Belly buddies (the crew) have helped me to realize this. It also kinda helps if you tilt your head back as well. So next time you are in a fit of uncontrollable laughter, stick your tongue out and embrace a well-bred, refined and cosmopolitan level of snickering. Trust me....I live in California.
Hey friends! I have been in kind of a dry spell of blogging so I thought that I would talk about some randomness that is my life.
We risk ourselves for the things that we love. Lately I have been feeling like a regular Indiana Jones. I have a tendency to forget things. Most recently I have been forgetting my keys in Ruby’s car and find myself with a need to lock the door to the apartment but unable to lock the door from the outside without a key. My mission was to make it to the Family Film Festival (a festival Remnant supports that makes it possible for families to watch free children’s movies during the week days), but I could not leave the apartment unlocked all day long. But I organized a plan to lock the apartment and leave for the Family Film Festival. You see Ruby and I live on the second floor and if I could just find the courage to step over our railing on our back porch and jump down, I could go and play with kids all afternoon. I prepared for the worst and I expected the best. I packed a snack thinking that if I hurt myself on the way down I would at least have something to take my focus off the pain. I put a Band-Aid in my bag thinking that one would be enough. I texted my friends to let them know the plan in case anything should go a rye. I prayed for the best.
Looking over the edge, I contemplated chickening-out but did not want to face the alternative of missing the Film Festival or leaving the apartment vulnerable to theft. Jumping was my only courageous option. I stepped over the railing, kicked my shoes down below into the shrubbery. I figured if I could somehow shimmy down the railing, I could swing to the railing of my neighbor’s porch below. I let my feet go. As I was hanging there off my railing, in plain sight of my neighbors, I thought to myself “Once again Kristen, you did not think this one through.” At this point it was too late to turn around. I did not have the arm strength to pull myself up and over the railing. My only choice was to let the wooden railing slide through my fingers until I was low enough to stand on the porch railing below me. My feet caught the railing and I jumped down into the safety of a flowerbed.
But we risk it all for the things we love. Am I right? I love the Family Film Festival. I get to meet tons of kids and parents, paint faces, play corn hole, and spread the word about the new church that meets in the movie theater.
Well jumping from a balcony may not be much but it was the riskiest thing that I have done since I up and moved to California.
I also had to do the same maneuver the week after that when I forgot my keys again. At least that time I had a spotter.
Cheers to safety!
I never thought that my life among the jellies and the bellies would be so interesting, but the crazies really do come out to play at the jelly Belly factory. Let me set the scene in Fairfield , CA. Small town with a reputation of being home of the Jelly belly factory. We have so many tours come in filled with people from around the world. At the beginning of the tour, we have our guests line up to take a pictures with a stuffed Jelly Belly. Some people for whatever reason don’t want to take a picture (it usually comes down to the price $22!)
I had this one lady with a stroller standing in line that asked me how much it cost to buy the picture and I said, “it is free to take the picture, but it is $22 to buy the picture.” She responded by saying, “oh I need to take a picture of this beautiful black baby.” And I thought to myself well that was an interesting response but I mean the lady was African American and maybe she just was really excited about her beautiful black baby and so I went back to doing some other work . As she is reaching the front of the line she says again “I need to take a picture of this beautiful black baby”. So at this point, I am like what is up with this lady, I thought maybe she needed to remind herself about how
beautiful her baby is because she keeps going on and on about her beautiful black baby. So I’m like what the heck is the deal with this baby. I look in the stroller and there is this little white baby and I look at the lady and then back at the baby . Then everything comes full circle that this lady is just straight crazy.
The other day I was a selling photo to a lady and after putting her photo in a bag I said “that will be $22”, then she proceeded to reach into her bra and pull out a stack of hundreds and handed me the money. I put on fakest smile ever and thanked her for her purchase. I don’t even wanna know.
Just today I had an old creepy man who asked me and my co-worker if he could take a picture of us for his collection. One of my co-workers was like “why would he want a picture of us”, and Ruby said “I can think of multiple reasons and none of them are good ones.”
Beyond all of that, we try to take the best possible pictures of families but no matter how well you shot, you are going to have family pictures that just come out straight awkward, like a few of these examples I have provided.
Enjoy my friends…
Yosemite coming soon.....
I’ve always thought of myself as someone who was slow to catch onto things. When I was younger, I thought sex was just rolling around in a bed naked until about 8th grade. I never really connected the dots. I remember in 5th grade, my girl scout group had a specialist come in to explain he birds and the bees to us and I still didn’t understand. They didn’t use literal terminology they talked more metaphorically. I remember leaving that meeting thinking “what the heck, I still don’t how babies are made!” I can drive some places a million times and still forget the directions. I’ve never really thought of myself as a contemplator but more as a learn-as-you-go type of person or a play-by-ear. Speaking of these little phrases like learn-as-you-go or play-by-ear, I sometimes realize that I have no idea what these little American phrases mean.
Now in my old age, I find myself contemplating everything. I am second guessing myself and my decisions. Caution steps in what I do and say and I allow myself to think.
This baby is just here to demonstrate that most of the time I have no idea what the heck is going on.
ANd I just think that this article is awesome...
